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What if you want to do the same ‘ole thing in the same ‘ole way… but outside the bedroom? Again, ask your partner if it’s something they’d be down for. Fantasies that center around novelty (incorporating a new sexual activity like anal or oral) or adventure (having sex in a new location) are common. If you want to change your relationship structure, “start by exploring what that means to you,” says Corrado.

Whether you want to explore anal play, non-missionary penetrative sex, 69-ing, or bringing food into the bedroom, the first step is to talk about the addition of the act. Avoid making your partner feel inadequate by framing this convo about what you can add to your sexual play. What are your feelings in the fantasy? Exploring your emotions may give you clues to your unmet needs. Whatever the fantasy, there should be a plan in place around what will happen in that sexual scene,” says Daniel Sayant, founder of NSFW, a club hosting sex-positive events and workshops.

First, establish whether this is something you want IRL, says Engle, “because that is a different animal than simply having the fantasy.”

Not everyone will be comfortable with changing their relationship structure, but if you do decide to move forward together, you’ll need to practice this kind of open communication,” she says. For the most part, someone’s fantasies are about consensual non-monogamy. Meaning, one partner has provided their blessing for the others extramarital play. Some fantasize about their own non-monogamy. Sadism and masochism (S&M) and bondage, discipline, dominance, and submission (BDSM) make up the second most popular fantasy. Why can group sex be so hot? Engle explains: “In most folks’ multi-partner sex fantasies, you’re the star of the show. The idea of multiple people wanting to have sex with you is part of the turn on.” And as Corrado says, “being able to do or be what and who you’re not supposed to do or be with your partner creates a layer of safety and vulnerability that further connects us with our partner.” What to do about it

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In long-term relationships in particular, keeping novelty alive is paramount for fighting bedroom boredom and maintaining an active sex life, says Engle. “Trying something new reignites the passion you had at the beginning of the relationship.” What to do about it Try “I love when you’re inside me, how would you feel about exploring doggy style next time we have sex?” or “I love the way you look between my legs, would you want to taste me the next time we have sex?” What’s novel or new for one person may not be for another. So the what and where between folks’ fantasies will vary.

Less than 0.5 percent of folks said cheating, being unfaithful, or committing adultery was arousing to them. What to do about it According to Dr. Lehmiller, bending gender roles and orientation also allows folks to inject something new, different, and exciting into your sex life, while simultaneously subverting cultural expectations of what you’re “supposed” to be or do. Sexual fluidity fantasies — in which the featured acts or characters are seemingly inconsistent with how one identifies sexually

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The idea of being sexually submissive can be arousing to people who are always in control outside of the bedroom,” says Engle. “And the idea of being in control can be hot due to the taboo nature of rough sex and [a] sense of authority.” Some people clearly know that they want one romantic partner but want to be sexually explorative with other people. Other people want deep, romantic relationships with more than one person at a time. That way you can eliminate the risk of unwanted, or nonconsensual, acts — even in the face of control play,” he adds. Threesomes, orgies, and the like also create sensory overload. Think about it: There’s simply more bits, smells, tastes, holes, poles, and sounds than in a two-some or solo session. What to do about it For example, “I’ve been thinking it might be hot to talk through a fantasy of another woman going down on you in bed. What do you think?”