Happy High Status: How to Be Effortlessly Confident

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If you are around a bunch of low-status people it’s easier to fall into their reality if you aren’t mindful. Charisma is a great starting point. Quoting Viv Groskop (Author of ‘How to Own the Room’), people with charisma have three qualities: High status people are leaders. Not followers. As a leader you take charge of the group, you speak to the group lead in the direction that’s best for everyone. 29. Have impeccable social skills My anecdotal research suggests that it’s no longer fun or sexy to mention the pandemic in social situations, but there are people who warm to the idea that we need to guard our recovered confidence carefully. I have had a number of people tell me that they have found solace in doing things more intentionally (an echo of Samuel’s idea): they have specifically created space for socialising and friendships, rather than just allowing those things to happen, as they might have done before the pandemic.

Of course, for many, the effects of the pandemic are unspeakably profound because of individual circumstances: mental illness, bereavement, grief, isolation, overwork, financial difficulties. But what about the more general effects on those of us who didn’t live through a specific horror? Are we all just supposed to forget this happened? Is that healthy? In Russian there is a saying that translated means “do you hear me or are you just listening to me?”. There are experts out there that are much better at talking about this then me. But in terms of principles there are two you must follow:This comes from Prof Mark Granovetter’s work in the 1970s and in particular his 1973 paper The Strength of Weak Ties. For new information and ideas, “weak ties are more important to us than strong ones”, he writes. There is increasing evidence that they also boost our wellbeing. Even as the pandemic recedes from view, like a defeated zombie, I wonder if it’s dead and buried or merely dormant There is not an ounce of people pleasing or seeking for agreement when you communicate as a high status man. 31. Make statements rather than questions. Happy High Status is a state of mind usually seen in celebrities, however, is more relevant to the ‘average Joe’ than you might think. From a celebrity standpoint, it is where their status is so high that they are confident that, whatever comes their way, their status will be retained.

In my experience, people with Happy High Status make for excellent leaders. Embracing their strengths and accepting areas of improvement, whilst always staying humble. And in case you missed the picture of Margaret Atwood giving her blessing to the first manuscript copy of Happy High Status, here it is. I’m currently reading “ How to own the room” by Viv Groskop, a book designed to help women become more confident speakers. It analyses famous women’s speeches – Michelle Obama’s, Chimamanda Ngoze Adichie’s, JK Rowling’s etc — and pulls out certain characteristics of their speaking style that make them exceptional. It’s a pretty good read (probably works for most blokes, too) and it’s got a few excellent bits. One of them is the idea of “happy high status”:It seems to me that she’s describing the exact same thing that I called a ‘stance’ in my previous post. Well, she talks about public speaking, not content or copywriting. But they all come down to rhetoric. And her analysis holds some terrific stance advice for copywriters – and the brands we write for: This is part of making a great first impression. Don’t mess this up. It’s simple but not always easy. 20. Don’t go out of your way to befriend high status people If your mind thinks about walking into a meeting and the mental pictures you are experiencing are telling you that people are judging you and hating you…rest assured you will be in for a tough time. Posture is not something you turn on and off. If you are reading this right now sitting down….How is your posture?

It disarms people immediately. Warmth creates connection and lowers the wall that are around people's ability to connect. 35. Have an air of effortlessness You don’t finish your sentences with an upward intonation. This is an expression of people pleasing behavior. You end your statements and questions the same way they were started.Stop responding to the mundane as if you just heard the news that Pluto became a planet again. 11. Demand attention when you talk How can transformational leaders cope with stress and burnout and promote well-being and resilience? Stop talking about your emotional injuries “you won’t believe what happen to me today” yes I will, stop your victim shit immediately. 34. Warmth This post is about the vast inner world of being high status and some outward expressions that come with it.

This was highlighted for me recently when I was talking to a friend of mine who happens to be a brilliant coach. I was recounting something that had happened at work and she kept noticing a change in my voice, it’s tone, speed and intonation. She kept asking me “who’s that talking?” I’d say “It’s me!” She’d say “No it’s not. She sounds different to the person I see in action when you lead courageously from the front, employing your strengths of empathy, compassion, relationship building, emotional control and strategic mindedness. Where’s she gone?” I realised then. That’s when I’m in happy high status! When I’m drawing on my innate strengths. Yes, my experiences, skills and knowledge, but also the stuff that’s unique to me and my make-up. The stuff that makes me who I am.Healthy entitlement is the sense that you have the right to want things, even if you might not get them. Or you can be like Conor McGregor’s level of entitlement: Watch this from 3:12 onward. 22. Master how to have great first impressions Samuel’s concern, though, is not so much for the general population as the outliers. “People with existing difficulties – whether related to mental health, finances or family – have had everything made worse by the pandemic. And their ability to get support is diminished because the demand is so great.” Had a little party to myself over Happy High Status: How to Be Effortlessly Confident making June Books of the Month in the “i” newspaper.