If I Can't Have You

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If I Can't Have You” by Charlotte Levin is an all-consuming novel about loneliness, obsession and how far we go for the ones we love. I really liked Constance and so many times I felt like reaching out to her. Bless her heart. The ending was satisfying though, and I can't give it any less than 5 stars. They say if you love something let it go… I won’t be doing that. Not now. Not Ever. You made me happy and then you left me - If you love someone NEVER let them go. That’s why for me this is just the beginning, I know you will understand and be happy with me again soon.

Levin was born and raised in New York City. She graduated from Syracuse University with a degree in English before moving to Los Angeles to pursue a career in television. Levin currently lives in Los Angeles with her husband and two children. This is the story of Janet Brown, a woman weighed down by guilt and grief, whose small world revolves around her cleaning job, her elderly father in his care home, and controlling husband Colin. She is wholly subservient to Colin, who dictates her every move. It’s a sad little life, but no more than Janet deserves; the penance she pays for the tragic mistake of eleven years ago.

Charlotte, your book had me uptight, angry, sad and conflicted all at once. You have an amazing way of pulling us in and keeping us with you right till the end. Everything you'd want in an amazing read. The story embraces some difficult topics — loss, grief, guilt, blame — but Levin handles them with the utmost sensitivity. I even found some sympathy for Colin, who at the end of the day was also a victim. But it was Janet I cared and rooted for. They all stared" it held my attention as we travelled a journey with main character Constance who writes a letter to Samuel explaining her thoughts and actions. She works as a receptionist at a doctors' surgery and falls head over heels with the new recruit. He(Samuel) bubbles along through life merrily using and abusing women for sex and dropping them as and when he chooses. She does not see his treatment of her as horrific and instead chooses to see him as the object of her love and devotion and refuses to walk away from him, as so many people have done in her life, who supposedly loved her. This is a book that touched so many different emotions in me. One minute I detested Constance, the next I loved her. I’ve winced, gasped, laughed and cried throughout the reading of this book. It’s definitely one of my favourites of 2020 and I can tell you that Charlotte Levin is certainly someone to look out for.

If you want a story to get its fingernails into you and have you both wanting to cover your eyes and not stop reading, then this is the story for you. It was Ernest Hemingway who once encouraged writers to begin with “one true sentence”. There are many such sentences in Charlotte Levin’s debut “If I Can’t Have You”, but this is her first: “Everyone stared.” Simple, effective, true, because, above all, this is a novel not about looking but rather, about the desire to be seen. If I Let You Go is a story that quietly worms its way under your skin, gradually revealing the details of its protagonist’s life. This book tells the tale of Janet, a woman who is coming to terms with loss and trying the navigate the way out of her trapped life. It’s a slow thriller with fantastic characters and wonderfully easy to read.

If I Can't Have You

Constance is a receptionist in a doctors surgery in London who falls in love with Samuel , the new doctor. He seems to feel the same way, but he uses her for his own purposes and then dumps her. What happens next is this story. She is a vulnerable woman and his betrayal hurts her, but she does not give up easily.

What I did love about Constance was her wit pipped at the post only by a lesser character, Edward, who provided the balance and sanity and light relief much needed in this tale of obsession, loneliness, fear and hope. A well deserved 5 stars. Congratulations to the author. A 28 year old receptionist in a private doctor’s surgery in Kensington. A chain-smoking, emotionally stunted woman who is running away from her past having recently experienced a traumatic loss. Living in a crappy bedsit, drinking too much and avoiding her own feelings so when the handsome and charming Dr Samuel Stevens starts working at the surgery she can’t help falling for him. I really enjoyed “If I Can’t Have You” so I was super keen to find this book in the shop last week. Unfortunately, it widely missed the mark for me. So beautifully written, such a devastatingly compelling story… I can honestly say it’s one of the best books I’ve ever read – it is without shadow of a doubt, EASILY up there with Girl On a Train and Eleanor Oliphant.’– Ruth JonesSamuel, the day we met I knew I’d finally found what I’ve been waiting for.You.Happiness, at last.Then you left me.And now I am alone.Everyone I love leaves in the end.But not this time.I’m not giving up on us.I’m not giving up on you.When you love someone, you never let them go.That’s why for me, this is just beginning. If I Can’t Have You by Charlotte Levin – eBook Details

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A story of love, loss, grief. Of blame. Of punishment. Of keeping a memory alive. Of fearing letting that memory go.

If I Let you Go is the story of Janet who lives with husband Colin. They lost their daughter Claire as a child..Janet throws herself into her cleaning job; Colin blames Janet for what happened to Claire..Their marriage is unhappy. Colin is controlling and this and Janet’s grief trap her into a situation of deep misery…And then there is a train crash.. This psychological thriller is written as a fascinating and detailed letter, from Constance to Samuel, and SO hard to put down. The story is a mixture of “Fatal Attraction” and “Gone Girl” and works perfectly. I couldn’t help but root for “Team Constance”, even if she was a bit psycho. The more I read about her, the more I sympathized with her and tried to understand her actions. I think that this book would make an excellent reading group choice. There is so much food for debate not least Janet’s decisions, her marriage and her choices.. After a night out drinking with her friends she wakes up the next day in hospital having survived a horrific train crash and saved the life of a little girl but with no memory of the event. Thrust into the public eye and seen as a heroine, Janet slowly starts to regain memories of that night and it’s not quite what everyone is led to believe. I wish there was more of Nish. I'm sure if there had of been she would have been the voice of reason or the reason for change.Her work has been translated into seven languages and she is a member of the International Thriller Writers organization. If I Can’t Have You has been optioned for television by Universal Cable Productions.