[(My Feudal Lord)] [by: Tehmina Durrani]

Product Information

Also, most of what happened with her was self-inflicted (I don't mean the violence of course). It is SHE who broke another woman's marriage and home, and then spends the rest of her life complaining about having gotten a raw deal. Her own actions,motives and choices seem very questionable as she spends a long time with this man despite all his alleged cruelty and exploitation.It is a trashy book but it uses real life characters and actual political events to tell the story. As a woman and as a part of the same culture and society Miss Durani belongs to, I wasn’t a bit surprised by the physical and emotional abuse displayed by her husband or being discriminated on the basis of her dark complexion or looks. Most men of our society have a superiority complex and violence is used as a tool to keep weaker gender in line. Tehmina Durrani with William and Marilyn Hoffer engage the reader to assess women’s role in Pakistan. When My Feudal Lord was first published (around 1994), it shook Pakistan society.

In "My Feudal Lord," she revealed that Khar was a sociopath, scandalous, disgraceful, physical and sexual abuser, and had extramarital affairs. The pain she experienced after discovering Khar's illicit relationship with her youngest sister, Adeela Durrani, was unbearable and devastated her deeply. Tehmina caught them multiple times, but they denied it and made her believe that it was an illusion due to her mental illness. Tehmina tried everything to keep her marriage intact, but she always fell short and had to endure humiliation from her husband. After a series of heated arguments, Tehmina asked Khar for a divorce because nothing was going in her favor. There is no telling how much of it is fact and how much is fiction. Its subject is Ghulam Mustafa Khar,a well known Pakistani politician,former Governor of Punjab,and Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto's right hand man. Zolbrod, P.G. 1992. Diné Bahane’: The Navajo Creation Story. Albuquerque: University of New Mexico Press. The reason I gave this book 4.5 stars is because I disliked the way she pitied Mustafa, sympathized his situations, helped him time and time again. For the a b Peter Popham (20 July 1999). "My feudal lords Amnesty honoured him with its Journalism Under Threat award, but in Pakistan Najam Sethi is still persecuted". The Independent. Archived from the original on 23 May 2013 . Retrieved 8 September 2012– via HighBeam Research.

Scrabble Tools

Può essere anche di grande aiuto per capire tutte le dinamiche distorte che si innescano in un rapporto coniugale patriarcale e non del tutto paritario. Tehmina Durrani mentioned in her book how Khar severely tormented her during all pregnancies. Even after parturition, she encountered humiliation and assaults on her hospital bed, and she was left alone to bear all the pain. She faced mortification when Khar stripped her naked and savagely beat her. una lettura densa, a tratti un po' dispersiva, ma è una storia vera che valga veramente la pena di leggere, per tutte le donne oppresse, islamiche e non. Punjab's ex-CM Shahbaz Sharif confirms Marriage with Tehmina Durrani". Daily Times (Pakistan). Archived from the original on 3 September 2009. I truly could not breathe for a few seconds, and actually re-read the paragraph a couple of times to make sure I wasn't reading it wrong! Damn it, you're in MY country, under the mercy of MY Govt, and our 'Hindu presence' disturbs your prayers?

I was haunted by feelings of being a non-person and by extremely low self esteem. If Mother did not approve of me and love me, Anees’s weak opinion – and those of his lower-positioned family – was of little consequence. Punjab's ex-CM Shahbaz Sharif confirms Marriage with Tehmina Durrani 7 February 2005 (Dead link 8 October 2015) Ahmed, Zia. 2013. “Postcolonial Feminism and Pakistani Fiction.” International Research Journal of Arts & Humanities (IRJAH) 41, no. 41: 1–20.But in the biggest irony of all,after leaving Khar,Tehmina Durrani got married to Nawaz Sharif's brother,Shahbaz Sharif ! Tehmina Durrani ( Urdu: تہمینہ درانی; born 18 February 1953) is a Pakistani author known for her bestselling book My Feudal Lord, [1] an artist, and a women's and children's rights activist, she also served as the First Lady of Pakistan as the wife of Shehbaz Sharif from 11th April 2022 till 13th August 2023 The good thing was, I had lots of friends on whom I could rely upon to provide me with smart insights. One of them, working on a paper about Saving Muslim Women and how Islamophobic narratives are used to justify military interventions in Muslim-majority countries, wrote about American anthropologist Lila Abu-Lughod. Abu-Lughod described pornographic pulp ‘non’-fiction as a literary genre based upon autobiographical accounts of Muslim women’s oppression. According to my friend’s paper, the enduring legacy and bestselling status of books such as this one are dangerous indicators because they ‘feed shallow generalizations about Muslim societies instead of informing the reader of the ‘radical specificity’ of each case’. This, I think, was fascinating for me, because my reactions were purely class based: this must be the norm for all poor households, my privileged mind thought, but of course abuse is different in all its forms. Of course some are worse than others, and that doesn’t mean those aren’t more acceptable. It’s just that this story is hell on earth, and reading it gave me all sorts of feelings, half of which I still haven’t been able to sort out. Access-restricted-item true Addeddate 2012-05-17 18:08:49 Bookplateleaf 0010 Boxid IA153906 Camera Canon EOS 5D Mark II City London Donor It’s impossible to not encounter deeply held patriarchal beliefs when discussing this book in public. Most people, even the highly educated ones, held on to some strand of victim blaming, questioning why Tehmina chose to stay with Mustafa or why multiple women kept marrying him even with his cruelty widely known. Even in stories which so clearly try to explain how the man was abusive, basic sexism made it instinctive for them to question the woman’s actions instead of the man. And this question, about why she stayed with him, is one of the most commonly asked ones about abusive marriages: why does the woman (or, in some cases, the man) stay with their abuser?

Khan, Momina. 2011. “Feudalism—The Death of Women Rights in Pakistan.” NEWS Pakistan, October 18. http://www.newspakistan.pk/2011/10/18/feudalism-the-death-of-women-rights-in-pakistan/.Despite the fact that our mother had divorced her first husband, we were taught that marriage was a sacred and irrevocable institution. If a husband turned out to be a brute, it was the wife’s duty to persevere until she changed his character. A broken marriage was a reflection of a woman’s failure. While she is growing into a better shape, she is constantly compared to her mother leaving her to a second place. Even if she grows beautiful, she cannot be ‘as’ beautiful. My Feudal Lord”, is a brave attempt on part of Tehmina Durrani to break free from our societies double standards towards women. I have to commend her courage to speak out, because no other Pakistani woman would admit to half of the things Ms. Durrani reveals in her book. Amnesty International Document – Pakistan: Insufficient protection of women". Amnesty International. Shahbaz confirms marriage to Tehmina". Daily Times (Pakistan). 24 February 2005. Archived from the original on 17 May 2005.

Riveting…one of the many remarkable qualities of Durrani’s story in her total frankness…she emerges as a woman to be admired.’ The Age, Melbourne Happy Things in Sorrow Times – TDF". www.tehminadurranifoundation.org . Retrieved 16 November 2018. Riaz, Amber Fatima. 2012. “Architectures of The Veil: The Representation of The Veil and Zenanas in Pakistani Feminists’ Texts.” PhD dissertation, University of Western Ontario. Were her 'Islamic prayers' not disturbed when she broke her own home and the heart of her first husband Anees? Thirsty for love, Durrani gives in to the twenty-seven-year old Anees who smuggles her fashioned pastries and love letters while she is still in uniform at the Catholic boarding school, believing that someone might not err again to love her. Later, Mustafa will also discover the wounded child inside her and hurt her at cuts old yet fresh.This book is based on Tehmina Durrani's life de facto events and exposes the savaged realities of her life. Each section in this book eloquently unfurls the vicissitudes of her life. You will fall in love while reading this book as it delicately describes: childhood trauma, love, emotions, infidelity, seduction, adultery, guilt, separations, unions, marriages, sociopathy, domestic violence, trauma, illness, loneliness, misuse of power, male chauvinism, politics, illicit relations, imprisonment, abduction, feudality, stereotypes, fall of democracy, exiles, bravery, social taboos, family pressure, legal assistance, feminism, fight for rights, women's oppression, and distortion of religion for personal interests. Marriage With Anees Khan and Relationship with Ghulam Mustafa Khar: This connection between the Mustafa Khar that other people saw and the reality of who he was—a vicious and cruel person—seemed to be pervasive throughout both his political life as well as his personal. No matter how many times Sherry, Mustafa’s wife before Tehmina, tried to tell her that Mustafa wasn’t a nice person, Tehmina couldn’t believe it until she got married to him and was faced with his frequent bouts of utter rage, the casual way he inflicted violence, or his blatant disregard for the women in his life. For Mustafa Khar, his weak morals and his feelings of inadequacy were all inter connected with an inherent misogyny that patriarchy allowed him to cultivate to the best of his abilities. What’s also very funny is the juxtaposition between the Mustafa Khar who is corrupt and uses his power to oppress those below him, and the Khar who gets the support of Zulfiqar Bhutto primarily because he is ‘a man of the country’, someone who has grown up within the feudal system and understands the fights of the downtrodden. This point is repeated again and again, claiming that Bhutto was convinced they could change the country together, but he was planning this with the same Khar who blew all the money his father gave him upon his election to the National Assembly on buying a cavalcade of ridiculously expensive American cars. That doesn’t exactly sound like a man whose main interest is the people. I think we need to have a very honest conversation about why we assume patriarchal notions won’t exist where they do, and how stereotypes can plague even those who mean well. So, for example, with women who have been through abusive marriages, we expect them to have magically unwritten all the years of patriarchal conditioning they’ve been through, and accept that some men are trash, but of course it doesn’t work like that. When a women works, we expect her to be a champion for the rights of all working women. A women who has had kids must be able to understand when another mother wants a break. One who has been restricted by the community’s concepts of modesty must understand why another would want to break out of them. This very basic logic, that once you’ve suffered through something, you must be able to empathize better with those who are oppressed by the same rules, unfortunately doesn’t translate into real life. because the truth is that humans are complex, and by complex I mean capable of very easily carrying entirely conflicting opinions.