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Eventually my parents separated, meaning I spent two nights a week at my father's house. Those nights, I stayed in his bed with him, all night long. Somehow, the lie he'd told my mother to explain why I was often in their bed when she came home from work -- that I was too scared to sleep alone -- became truth. I don't know if I was truly scared or if I simply came to believe I was, but I rarely spent a night in bed by myself until I was 13 years old. I thought the beating was excessive. If my daughter was missing for three days, I’d be angry, but I’d be more relieved she was alive. Clearly, if she felt she could leave for three days at that age, there’s something going on at home. He needs to beat himself because he lost control a long time ago. Saum clarifies his views on spanking versus abuse when asked if witnessing a spanking, then offering your card, send a mixed message to kids. This 13-year-old girl, no matter what she did while she was away for three days, has trust issues with her father. Wherever she was, she felt like she wasn’t able to talk to her father. Many teenagers feel this way about their parents. It’s these pivotal adolescent years that change us. We go from bright-eyed bushy-tailed optimists to angry know-it-alls who finally see that our parents aren’t perfect. This realization manifests in different ways for different teens. Officer Saum says in a phone interview, waxing philosophical, “Some say never hit. Some quote the Bible and say ‘Spare the rod, spoil he child.’ Some say it’s ridiculous for a police officer to have to spend his time on a call like the one the sheriff’s department here had.”
I think there are misbehavior that justify ridiculous punishment and totally embarrass a parent because they’re at their wit’s end, but it doesn’t get you the result. It depends on the kid. Some kids are sensitive to getting beatings and it affects them. They respond to it.A viral video of a mother disciplining her teenage daughter is being met with mixed reactions online.
I was eager to replicate both the good and the bad feelings that had come from the abuse, without even realizing it. It would take me a long time and a lot of unraveling the lessons of my childhood to see sex as something I could enjoy, choose, participate in joyfully. To want it, not need it. To learn that sex didn't have to feel bad to be good. Even now I am careful to think through my sexual motives and actions to make sure that what I'm trying to "get" from sex isn't shame, isn't obsession. Though the abuse itself ended long ago, the impact is everlasting. It reminded me of how my mother always said, if you have to ask “Is this wrong?” it’s likely you already have the answer in your heart of hearts. Somebody has a pull on her that her parents haven’t been able to replicate or respect. She was out looking for love. The first thing you can do to combat that, is give her a hug. If she knows she’s going to get her ass beat, then she was probably like, ‘Let me call my boyfriend, he’ll give me a hug.’ Somebody’s going to give the girl a hug. I’d rather it be man than the other man. If the “last straw” happened in front of Dad, though, you might hardly see the belt coming off. You wouldn’t think a man could remove his belt that fast… it was like the belt loops were greased or something. Usually 2–3 hard swats that would be remembered for more than a day.In my personal history, I administered a singular “pop on the diaper” when our first son tried repeatedly to jump overboard while we were under full sail on the boat we were living aboard. He got the message because mommy had never spanked him and never did again. Over 21 years of parenting four sons I have found that spanking or “whupping” is an evergreen topic which can instantly spark heated debate among parents. If you were to come up with a punchline to a joke about the Monitor, that would probably be it. We’re seen as being global, fair, insightful, and perhaps a bit too earnest. We’re the bran muffin of journalism.
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