Fingers Crossed: How Music Saved Me from Success: Rough Trade Book of the Year

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A ‘C’ word that sounds offensive in my male inner monologue sounds less so delivered in context by Miki.

Miki also explores her complicated relationship with Emma – one that has fluctuated between camaraderie and rivalry over the years – and addresses the most devastating tragedy of all: the suicide of her best friend and soulmate, Lush drummer Chris Acland. Rough Trade's Book of the Year 2022A Mojo Book of the Year 2022Formed in 1988, Lush were part of the London gig scene during one of the most vibrant and creative periods in UK music. These aren't all pleasant stories, but there is also a lot of love and nostalgia around, and an evocation of life in 1970s Britain which could both be rough (Berenyi suffered a lot of bullying and attempted bullying at various schools) but also a lot of fun, especially given the privilege of her mother's wealth and introductions to various celebrities. The extraordinary and searingly honest personal story of musician Miki Berenyi, revealing the highs and lows of navigating the madness of the ’90s music industry. On a drive across Europe to Hungary, he sets the young Miki selling bathroom equipment on the streets of Prague to keep the cash flowing.Lush were somewhat unusual in the late 1980s and early 1990s as a British guitar band whose lead creative forces were women, leading to some positive attention but also highly negative and, at times, irrational criticism, including bizarre claims their songs were written by their label. But at the heart of the book are Miki's own battles: the conflict between her mouthy public persona and her thin-skinned private identity; the trials of being a woman in an infuriatingly male world; the struggle to find a middle ground between safe indie obscurity and sellout international success. The fact they were also moderately successful in the United States when many of their contemporary British colleagues struck up much higher profiles in the UK but couldn't crack America at all seemed even more galling to certain people, and, as gruelling as the American tours could be, they were a relief from the sometimes indifferent British ones. She meets Emma Anderson, Lush guitarist, at school, where they bond over bands and start their own fanzine. Unfortunately, their industry and media contacts give them too much hype before they are ready for it, leading to a flurry of "the next big thing!

Although written almost thirty years after the most tragic events in the author’s life, Fingers Crossed reads piercingly emotional and, as she admits, ‘visceral’. I was quite late to the party with Lush; so late, in fact, that the party was over and all that remained were half-empty wine bottles and cheesy nibbles ground into the carpet.It's a gripping and delightful read even as, without an ounce of self-pity the bright energy of Miki's star is always tailed by darkness - the neglect and worse of an abusive childhood and the misogyny and exploitation that hangs like a pall over the Britpop years. They were far from an overnight success and once again the author gives the reader, who may have a rose-tinted view of how things work in showbiz, a blunt depiction of the hard edges of the music industry. Her mother moved to Los Angeles, giving Berenyi an early experience of transatlantic travel and adventures in the Hollywood Hills and visits to the family home in Japan.

Registered office address: Unit 34 Vulcan House Business Centre, Vulcan Road, Leicester, Leicestershire, LE5 3EF. Berenyi saves much of her ire for the Britpop era, which saw an explosion of pent-up misogyny and attempts to exploit young women under the guise of empowerment, and women in the business were taken advantage of. I bought a CD of Lush’s greatest hits album Ciao, loved it, devoured their back catalogue and the rest is history. The book also features an interesting fresh perspective on being a woman on the guitar band circuit at this particular point in time.

The things that I review are chosen by me and as such, are more often than not, things that I’m attracted to in the first place. I was glad that Miki survived Lush, but I was acutely aware that I didn’t know anything near the whole story. If you’re expecting Fingers Crossed to be a rollercoaster ride of rock ‘n’ roll excess, you might be disappointed, but that’s more about your inflexibility than any failing the part of the author. When the couple moved to Los Angeles, Berenyi opted to stay in London with Ivan, a Hungarian sports journalist, in their crumbling house in Willesden.